Ornstein & Smough - A Team You Can Trust (Dark Souls 10)

Have you been the victim of an unprovoked attack from a Silver Knight?  Have you fallen due to poor construction and lack of city-mandated guard rails?  Fallen down an unsecured elevator shaft?  Call Ornstein & Smough today for a free consultation.  We have countless decades experience making sure our clients get what's coming to them.  Most of our opponents don't reach court of the Princess of Sunlight for litigation!  Call Ornstein & Smough to have your legal issues Executed.

If you can't tell, I beat the dumb law firm and made the next major plot advancement.  I still haven't figured out what the Covenants do (I'll get there eventually), but I switched from the Covenant of the White to the Princess' Guard, mostly because the dude I signed on with before was an asshole.  I also gained the fast travel option, so woo.

OH!  I also finally got to use that item that let me invade the Fire Keeper Murderer's world.

I... forgot the dude's name.  He dead now though.  I did the justice.

I also got eaten by the big eel dude at Firelink, and placed the Lordvessel in the big bowl. 

Now, I might have some options paralysis.  Here are the places I can go, that I remember.

• I can go deal with the Hydra in Darkroot.
• I can go figure out what's going on with the large painting in Anor Londo.
• I can go past Anor Londo, past the Gold Gate that opened.
• I can go deal with Ceaseless Discharge.  
• I can try to find the gold gate that appeared to open near Ceaseless Discharge.

Haven't decided where I want to go yet, but I'll figure something out.  

I want to talk about the fight with the Law Firm.  What a frustrating piece of ass it was.  Thinking about the fight now just causes the spine area between my shoulder blades to tense up.  I would LOATHE to play this game again, just because I do not want to deal with them again.  I feel relieved that I don't have to see their stupid faces again, but I'm also angry that I had to deal with them in the first place.  I am more pissed off than anything with that fight.  I'm making myself mad and anxious just writing this.  Goddamn it.  It took several hours of kiting attempts, awkward lock ons, a few camera angles getting wedged in the corner, a few dozen lucky as hell last minute dodges, and a bunch of getting snuck up on  by a dude the size of a house, but I finally got past them.  

Fuck Ornstein and his weirdly homing jump attack.  Fuck Smough when he does the Dedede butt smash from outside your range of vision.  Fuck Ornstein and his slippery constant dodging and avoid spells at point blank range.  Fuck Phase 2 Smough and his double choo choo train attack where the second one hits me as soon as I stand up.  Fuck their 1-2 attack combos, where one knocks me down, and the other hits me the split-second I am able to be damaged again.  

BONUS ROUND!  Fuck the Giant Knight that can hit you once you're in the boss room.  

I will burn Anor Londo to the ground, and leave nothing but ash, fascinating architecture be damned.  

Supposedly this fight was one of the harder points in the game, but I'll believe that when I see it.  The game has been nothing if not a string of "Hardest parts of the game", so I'm going to believe in the pattern that I've seen, instead of what I've heard.  I'm hoping the next part isn't as difficult.  The sooner I can forget about these jokers, the better.